Stung by a ten-hour delay and a 300 Euro fare to Spain on his native low fares airline, Dubliner Paul Kilduff plots revenge to fly to every country in Europe for the same total outlay, suffering every low-fares airline indignity: 10kg of carry-on baggage, 6.00am departures, Six Nations-style boarding scrums, bus excursions, terminal anxiety and cabin crew who deliver famed customer service.

Kilduff travels on a cheap Irish airline led by a self-proclaimed obnoxious little bollocks , that flies from A to somewhere remotely near B, weighs baggage as if it was gold, charges passengers to check-in or to use a wheelchair, sells them hangover cures and scratch cards, lands its aircraft at the wrong airport and doesn t even care if Kilduff shows up.

And his advice to fellow travellers in what is perhaps the ultimate airport holiday read? Don t get mad, get even get a one cent airline ticket!