On airline security: We are not going to die at the hands of toiletries.' On popularity: I don't give a shite if nobody likes me.' On customer service: Are we going to apologise if something goes wrong? No, we're f***ing not.' Refunds? You can't have one, so f*** off'. Airport operators? Overcharging rapists'. The European Commission? Communists'. Travel agents? Fuckers'. Some might call it radical, ruthless business logic; others, the foulmouthed abuse of a shameless gobshite. Whatever: Michael O'Leary, the shrinking violet who is Chief Executive of the awesomely successful low-cost airline Ryanair, has made it his business to offer you his opinion on everything, even if it often makes you wish you hadn't asked. Now, here is the very baddest of his collected wit and wisdom, on everything from the possibility of charging passengers for going to the loo on his planes to his Aunty-f***ing-Mavis. We may hate him when we end up being charged forty quid for a flight we thought we were getting for a penny, but who can fail to be mesmerised, enlightened or just laugh out loud at some of the stuff that issues relentlessly from the man's lips? Paul Kilduff is the author of the bestselling Ruinair (2008) and four novels. He lives in Ireland.