It's no understatement when the Atlanta Journal & Constitution calls P. S. Wall "Erma Bombeck with attitude." Who else but Wall could blithely recount flying first class next to a call girl and trying on her fifteen-hundred-dollar "chocolate for your feet" shoes? "Oooooh, yes!" Now, America's wry new humorist--whose award-winning newspaper column "Off the Wall" is syndicated nationwide--casts her penetrating eye on everything from felines to Elvis, dieting to weed whackers, country living to sexy French tour guides. With her innate irreverence and sharp-as-nails sense of humor, she raises ordinary life to fiercely funny new heights.

Younger men: "If you fall in love with a younger guy, it's like trying to have a relationship with a jockey strap. There's just no give, and expansion is totally out of the question."

Speeding:  "Traffic police are a mystery to me. As far as I'm concerned, it's just not natural for a guy to stop a woman for going too fast."

Past loves: "Old lovers are like socks. They always show up full of static cling and missing their mate."

Convictions: "There's nothing I hate more than having my convictions put to the test. That's why I try not to have any."

Cars: "Buying a truck is like dating. If you're not careful, you'll end up paying for that test drive the rest of your life."

Politics: "In our neck of the woods, 'politically correct' means mounting your Rush Limbaugh sticker on the right side of the bumper."

There's just no stopping a woman with a "smart-aleck streak as wide as she claims her posterior to be." * Both acerbic and playful, If I Were A Man, I'd Marry Me is humor with a savvy sting.

* Minneapolis Star Tribune