As one of the only girls in Year Nine without a boyfriend, fourteen-year-old Holly Stockwell has some catching up to do. Forget dating boys -- Holly can barely think about boys without being embarrassed. And her exercise-obsessed family can't seem to understand that her only obsession is Luke -- her best friend Poppy's very cute older brother.

IF HOLLY WANTS TO SNAG A BOYFRIEND, SHE NEEDS TO WORK ON A PLAN:

1. Snog someone. (a gorgeous boy, I mean -- e.g., Luke. Not just anyone. Not the bus driver.)

2. Go on one of those group holidays with Poppy, without parents, in order to possibly achieve #1 on a beach at sunset.

3. Avoid PE. (No way can I follow Mum's advice to just "enjoy taking part" and not get in a blind panic about it).

4. Get better-looking. E.g., get smaller bottom, get rid of braces, and somehow transform tangled hair into Pantene-style gorgeousness (tangled hair no good for seduction -- how will boys run fingers through it?).