It's too bad they don't give out diplomas for what you learn at the mall, because I could graduate with honors in that subject.  No really.  Since I've worked there, I've become an expert on all things shopping-related. For example, I can tell you right off who to distrust at the mall:
  
1) Skinny people who work at Cinnabon.  I mean, if they're not eating the stuff they sell, how good can it be?
 
2) The salesladies at department store makeup counters.  No matter what they tell you, buying all that lip gloss will not make you look like the pouty models in the store posters.
 
3) And most importantly - my best friend's boyfriend, Bryant, who showed up at the food court with a mysterious blonde draped on his arm.
 
Yeah, I saw it, and yeah, I told my best friend all about it.
 
You would think this would mean trouble for Bryant, but you would basically be wrong.  Somehow, the evil boyfriend turned everything around, and now I'm the one who has to prove myself!  But I will. Even if Bryant - and more importantly his best friend, Colton - keep trying to stop me.