Can you recognise a real, unadulterated cat when you see one?

Or have you too grown used to the boring, mass-produced cats the advertising industry adores?

Real cats never eat from bowls (at least not the ones marked CAT).

Real cats never wear flea collars . . . or appear on birthday cards . . . or chase anything with a bell in it.

Real cats do eat quiche. And giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the table. They can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away.

Real cats don't need names. But they often get called them.

"Yaargeroffoutofityarbastard" does nicely.