The old powers try to come back, and the planet is plunged into chaos, and civilization is destroyed, and it gets all violent and evil… the old legends tell that a hero… with the sacred turtle, always … Los Angeles, California. Neddie Wentworthstein is the guy with the turtle. Sandor Eucalyptus is the guy with the jellybean. Sholmos Bunyip wants the turtle . . . and he'll stop at nothing to get it. This is the story of how Neddie, three good friends, a shaman, a ghost, and a little maneuver known as the French substitution determine the fate of the world.