Alfie's not really a bad guy. It's just that he has this overwhelming desire for the ladies. You might say that 'birds' are irresistible to him, sort of second nature. There's Ruby - 'A lust box in beautiful condition'; Clare - 'You're all lathered in sweat, Alfie'; and Siddie, and Crala, and Annie - but who's counting? Certainly not Alfie. Three in one evening if necessary. And necessary is the right word.