It all begins with the theft of Tessa Walcott's panties... Imelda Richardson has returned to the small village of Watersgate, Jamaica, where she grew up. After the hurricane of 1974, Jamaica is devastated - there are no roads, no electricity, and no crops. Imelda's parents decide she must join the throngs of Caribbean people landing on England's shores, without a place to stay or a plan of what to do. Luckily Imelda is taken in by Purletta Johnson, a member of the ex-pat bourgeoisie who has decided to become more Jamaican than any Jamaican: sucking her teeth, sporting a gold tooth, and growing ganja on her balcony. But when her mother dies Imelda returns to Watersgate, choosing Jamaica over England. 1983 was still a couple of years shy of the great dancehall explosion in which artistes like Shabba Ranks would sing how he 'loved punany bad' and the village is still dominated by the Evangelical church and the thundering voice of Pastor Braithwaite. When Tessa Walcott's panties are stolen - and in the absence of Perry Mason - she and Imelda decide to set up a Neighbourhood Watch. But they haven't counted on Pastor Braithwaite who denounces them in Church because if God can look after the sparrows then he can certainly look after a washerwoman's panties. The church-goers turn on Imelda, and when the river suddenly floods her home it is seen as a punishment from God. A Pentecostal fervour sweeps through the village of Watersgate, fuelled by Evangelist Millie who has witnessed their very own Sodom and Gomorrah (a gay party). In her last great crusade, Miss Millie organises 'fire to burn their sins away', equipping the villagers with kerosene as they set about burning magazines, books, the Sex Tree, radios, even a cat. Now they are marching on the gay man's house and only Imelda can save him.