Isabel Bookbinder might not be leading the most glamorous life ever - measuring column inches at the Saturday Mercury isn't exactly the job of her dreams - but luckily she's developed a foolproof plan to change all that.

Reasons to become a bestselling author:

Plentiful opportunities to swish new Super-hair
Sophisticated launch parties (with smoked salmon blinis)
Am bound to captivate the delicious Joe Madison
Can finally prove to father that Really Am Not a Waster

Potential setbacks:

Don't yet have '-Yoko' bag, as carried by arch rival Gina D. or honed size-eight figure (useful for interviews)
Hmm. Am inadvertently at the centre of a major political sex scandal
Paparazzi are doorstepping my parents and boring boyfriend Russell
Haven't actually got round to putting pen to paper yet

Admittedly some of the setbacks are a little daunting, but Isabel's sure that a woman of her ingenuity - and creativity - can find a way .