Have you ever wondered:

• Why Asians love "Hello Kitty"?



• What the tattooed Chinese characters really say?



• How to achieve feng shui for optimum make-out sessions?



• Where Asian cuties meet the white guys who love them?

Then you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll realize this book is better than a Broadway production of Cats when you read scenes that include:

• twenty-something Lindsey Owyang mastering the intricacies of office voicemail and fax dialing



• an authentic Chinese banquet where Number One Son shows off his language skills by speaking "Chinglish"



• dating disasters with grandsons of Grandma's mahjong partners



• the discovery that the real China looks nothing like the pavilion at Disney World



• karaoke

And all the while Lindsey is falling in lust with the "white devil" in her politically correct office. But will Grandma's stinky Chinese ointments send him running? Or will Lindsey realize that the path to true love lies somewhere between the dim sum and the pepperoni pizza?