Billy Hemple has a question: why are the residences of men named John (no middle name) Craig being broken into? And why does the burglar not steal anything? Instead he breaks out a fiddle and plays a mournful dirge-to a locked safe! Billy's got a special reason for needing to solve the mystery-the woman he wants to marry is the daughter of the only man left in Chicago whose name is John (no middle name) Craig! Even Harry Stephen Keeler has a hard time wrapping up all the loose ends of this labyrinthine webwork novel.