A laugh-out-loud tale of a man being eaten by a bear.

"I believe all God's creatures have a soul...except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!" -STEPHEN COLBERT

Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.