Lovejoy has been wrongfully imprisoned, again. So when he is offered a way out by visitor Ellen Jaynor, he takes it, although it becomes clear that there is a big catch involving speed-dating, marriage and the perfect robbery. Forced to use his antiques knowledge for representatives of the Forgotten White Tribes, remnants of emigrant peoples from around the globe, events spiral out of Lovejoy's control leaving him trapped inside a burning mansion. Betrayed on all sides, Lovejoy's only hope is the World Champion Pole Dancer Erosa Sexotica, but who is she and how can she possibly save him? All seems lost, for even Lydia and Tinker seem bent on his ruin...