A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions. What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why do French job applicants put sexually transmitted diseases on their CVs? Why are there no public health warnings on French nudist beaches? And how do you cope with a plague of courgettes? Paul also mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter; samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademolselle. But will Paul find l'amour eternel, or will it all end in merde?