...being a book about Alvin, Frannie, dolby, Brian, Belinda (doing eighty), Tyra the Beautiful, Connor f***ing Livingstone, Stephen King, Pink Floyd, peach schnapps (and lemonade), hope, dreams, Scotland, death-defying driving, Goodfellas, Irn-Bru, tenpin bowling, FHM, love and money, Alvin's Dad, American Psycho, car crashes, paranoia, The Lord of the Rings, U2, infinity, Brian's nipples, noddies, text messages, barmaids, virginity, Radiohead, The X-Men, exams, Frannie's patter, the death of punk, Tom Cruise, nightclub bouncers, Falkirk High School, Clive Barker, the emptiness at the heart of it all, weapons, Spider-Man, Han Solo, a desolate future in which no one loves anyone else, Hotel California, the universe, Blur, Prontaprint Lisa, and everything under the sun is in tune, as the sun is eclipsed by the moon...