Ok you pups out there, listen up. Old Dog is going to explain the whole bone. Common sense Human training is as simple as One, Two, Three. Once you understand its basic principles you can breeze through life with barely a "No! No! No!" along the way. With 50,000 years of human domestication behind canines, it shouldn't be tough to own, train, and enjoy the perfect human. Learn how to maximize your powers of staring, how to claim the perfect sleeping spots all over the house, how to control the car ride, and more.

Mike Rothmiller is a New York Times bestselling author, a television host and producer, and a screenwriter. He lives near the beach in Southern California with his wife and their two "kids" - Kona the Labrador Retriever who lives to play Frisbee, and their newest child, Coco the barbarian of Pomeranians.